Tango changed my brain

I became aware the other day that I am beginning to respond differently to the world in a way that I believe has been shaped by (or enabled by) my recent years of dancing Tango. I was standing at the elevator at work (a friendly, but somewhat impersonal place, with everyone quite focused on their own realm of the business). Someone whose name I could not remember came out of the elevator. Instead of just saying hi, or waiting for that embarrassing delay for the brain-table lookup. I just said hi Sally. I don't know where in my brain that name came from. I was surprised to hear myself say it. I was impressed that it came out right, not thought about, and unfiltered.

Because of the way my brain works, with facts, numbers, definitions, logic all fitting together well for me, I've rarely said things that just seemed right, without verifying and knowing I could back them up. Oh, there's always been some playfulness, tossing out random thoughts just to see where they land, but clearly presented with my tongue planted firmly in cheek, just in case.

This is about responding to the world instantaneously from somewhere totally honest and not rational. But with confidence that it's not irrational. I believe it is truly a new set of pathways in my brain. I'm sure many people have such pathways fully wired and serving them full time. It's just a new thing for me.

When I heard myself say hi Sally and realized that it had come from a different part of my brain, I recognized that part of my brain. It was that part of my brain that allows me to respond to music and partner in the realm of Tango. It may be a stretch, but I don't think so. It's something akin to the left-brain, right-brain distinction that is often made. I think I've had access to both sides, but one has always been held in check and filtered by the other.

In the pursuit of Tango I have been resistant to (or lazy about) the rational learning of vocabulary and development of structure, a sort of formality of training that is certainly necessary to growth and development as a lead. Instead, I have simply enjoyed the music, the connection, the pleasure of simply moving through space with a partner in response to the music. It is at once universal and unique to that time, that space, and that relationship. That pursuit seems pure to me.

I am beginning to enjoy Tango more because I'm able to give reign to that part of my brain that doesn't filter, rationalize, structure, justify the patterns of movement. I know there is significant discipline required to be good at it. I know there is a lot more training necessary to make both sides of the brain work together as well as development of muscle memory, and connections among all those things in order to achieve the higher levels of joy that I see possible in the dance. I'll get there.

But the point here is that this engagement of Tango is having an impact outside of Tango. It's not just saying hi Sally at the elevator. It could be simply stated as trusting my instincts. It's really more than that. It's Malcolm Gladwell's thinking without thinking as described in Blink. I've always believed in it. I'm now seeing it in my response to life. And I think it's because of Tango.

Tango has certainly changed my life. Sometime, I want to describe how my role as leader has changed in my work because of Tango. But that's better saved for a time when I don't have work to do (before going to this evening's milonga).