Night Flushing keeps workspace cool

It's been really hot here this past week. I was fairly diligent in opening and closing the windows in the studio. And this few minutes of attention morning and night mad a huge difference in the comfort level in the space during the unbearable heat, reaching 98 degrees on Thursday. Yet the indoor temperature never exceeded 77 deg.


I've had some temperature sensors being monitored by a computer running in the shed behind the studio. I've not done much with the data, occasionally saving it to a spreadsheet and plotting it. This week two of the sensors provided an interesting view of how the building responds to these long hot days with full sun and a little management of heat gain and loss.

We live in an environment where the diurnal temperature swing is nearly always significant. Probably the Puget Sound offers that. We are just east of Lake Washington. Maybe that's a factor.

So with a day/night swing of over 30 deg, the opportunity to cool without using electricity (not to mention the capital cost of air conditioning) is available for the asking. It just takes a few minutes of opening windows at night, and closing them in the mornings.

The design of the studio contributes to this ability to use night temperatures to stay cool. There was very little wind this week, so the high and low windows take advantage of the chimney effect, moving the warmer air at the ceiling out the upper windows and pulling the cooler night air in through the low windows.

The roof is a scissor truss, with lots of cross ventilation and roof vents near the ridge, above a well insulated ceiling. This keeps the heat gain through the ceiling under control.

The porch roof provides some shading on the south side, reducing the heat gain through the south wall somewhat.

The clematis on the east side of the building reduces the gain on that side. The west side is unprotected from hot west sun. The cedar tree that shaded it was cut down for a slash and burn project next door. But at least the glazing is limited on the west.

Ideally, there would a way to get air in from low on the north side, but the shed is attached, so there are no openings there.

This building has a somewhat more elaborate heating system that makes for a comfortable winter work environment, but that's for a winter posting. I need to get some code between all these sensors and the circulation pump to complete that story.

Why is it so hard to pay business taxes?

I watched the President's State of the Union Address tonight. I have been putting off paying taxes due the end of the month. I've been getting calls from one of the Washington State tax agencies. The level of encouragement to file reports and pay the tax has been increasing. Yesterday the voice mail message included the words subpoena. I chose not to consider this a threat, but rather an opportunity to save the State money. Since I never filed the last quarter report (while fully intending to), I knew there was reason to provide encouragement.

Tonight I paid the $45.32 due the State for the currently due quarter. Below is the email exchange and chronicle of my efforts to pay the taxes I am perfectly willing to pay, but reluctant to figure out how to do it each time it's due.

This is only for Unempoyment tax. There are at least two other agencies with similarly complex (but totally separate) rules and websites.

I'm a patient man, but this tries my patience. Here's how it went:

From: [AG]@ESD.WA.GOV
Sent: Tuesday, January 26, 2010 9:10 AM
To: [Alan's business]
Subject: ES# xxxxx-00 0 A B

Please call or e-mail me regarding your delinquent 3rd quarter tax report and 4th quarter report due.

Did you have employees?
Do we need to inactivate your account?


[AG]
Tax Specialist
(425) 649-xxxx

---------------------
From: AB
Sent: Tuesday, January 26, 2010 4:36 PM
To: [AG]
Subject: RE: ES# xxxxxx-00 0 [Alan's business]

AG –

I did return your phone call today.

I do have an employee. I do expect to pay the appropriate tax. I would welcome guidance.

Can I schedule an appointment to work through this on the phone?

Thank you.

-- Alan
----------------------------
From: AG@ESD.WA.GOV]
Sent: Wednesday, January 27, 2010 6:46 AM
To: Alan
Subject: RE: ES# xxxxxx-00 0 [Alan's business]

Alan,
You can go online and file 3rd and fourth quarter tax reports due preferably today please..

www.esd.wa..gov/uitax
- download the program UIFT to your desktop
- key in the requested information
- submit your reports

if you have trouble filing, e-mail me:
name of the employee
Social Sec No. (if it is [A], we have it)
Number of hours worked during third quarter (july, august, September)
Total gross wages paid

Same information needed for 4th quarters

Thanks,

AG
--------------------------
From: Alan
Sent: Wednesday, January 27, 2010 7:20 AM
To: AG
Subject: RE: ES# xxxxxx-00 0 [Alan's business]

Thanks Ana. I will do this tonight. It looks straightforward. If I have problems, I will send you the data for entry tomorrow.

-- Alan
-------------------------------
From: AG@ESD.WA.GOV]
Sent: Wednesday, January 27, 2010 7:22 AM
To: Alan
Subject: RE: ES# xxxxxx-00 0 [Alan's business]

Please do.

-----------------

Ana –

I believe I have filed the proper reports online, though not using the process your instructions indicate. I paid the Q409 taxes due and tried to pay the Q309 taxes, but was unsuccessful in making that payment.

I certainly appreciate your offer to enter the total paid and hours worked for the two quarters, and I should have simply quit trying to do it myself and sent you these four pieces of data.

Below is the chronicle of the efforts I went through to pay the $45.35 I owe the State for the fourth quarter as well as my attempt to pay the delinquent third quarter tax.

The link you provided below does not work for me. I’ve tried three different browsers on two different operating systems and I get the responses below using Microft Vista. The warning message displayed on a Macintosh computer is attached.

Please note that the link you provided presents one thing in my email and another destination hidden: http://www.esd.wa..gov/uitax









After a lengthy troubleshooting effort, I have found that the following link provides a page that is actually live.

http://www.esd.wa.gov/uitax/

Only two links were active in the matrix presented:

I clicked the link “File and pay” where I was offerd the choice to “choose the best online filing tool”

I was confused by two links being presented in the matrix: One in the cell “make online payments” under “UIFastTax” download desktop software for filing your taxes” with an “X” and “(using ePay)” I chose the “UIFastTax” since it looked like your “UIFT” direction below. This link led me to another page with much confusing text with a number of links, including a box labeled “Important” with a link labeled “download the reader” and a heading labeled “Vista users” with instructions to “Run as Administrator”. I chose the link “Download full version“ since you included the word “download” in your instructions. I then was presented with another page with more confusing text. I found the item “Go to the setup file and choose "Run" or "Open." and clicked the link. After being presented with the security warning and selecting “run” and being presented with another security warning by Internet Explorer where the warning indicated that “the publisher could not e verified. Are you sure you want to run this software?” and “Unknown Publisher” I selected “Run”. I was then presented with:



I selected “limit” since there was no digital signature. Can you tell me why there is no digital signature and the program is flagged as dangerous?

I then selected “allow” after being notified again that the program was dangerous.

I was then required to accept the following license agreement before proceeding:

End User License Agreement


“Washington State Employment Security Department
End User License Agreement for UIFastTax

NOTICE TO USER:
THIS IS A CONTRACT. BY INSTALLING THIS SOFTWARE, YOU ACCEPT ALL THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS OF THIS LICENSE AGREEMENT.

This Washington State Employment Security Department UIFastTax End User License Agreement accompanies the UIFastTax software product and related explanatory written materials ("Software"). The term "Software" shall also include any upgrades, modified versions or updates of the Software. This copy of the Software is provided to you as the end user. You must read this Agreement carefully before installing the software. If you do not agree with the terms and conditions of this License Agreement, do not install the Software. The Washington State Employment Security Department grants to you a nonexclusive license to use the Software, provided that you agree to the following:

1. Use of the Software. You may install the Software in a single location on a hard disk or other storage device; install and use the Software on a file server for use on a network for the purpose of permanent installation onto hard disks or other storage devices or use of the Software over such network; and make backup copies of the Software. You may make unlimited copies of the Software and give copies to other persons or entities as long as the copies contain this License Agreement and the same copyright and other proprietary notices that appear on or in the Software.
2. Transfer. You may not rent, lease, or sublicense the Software. You may, however, transfer all your rights to use the Software to another person or entity, provided that you transfer this License Agreement with the Software.
3. Copyright. The Software was created with public funds and is owned by the Washington State Employment Security Department. Its source code is confidential and reverse engineering of this product is prohibited. You agree not to modify, adapt, translate, reverse engineer, decompile, disassemble or otherwise attempt to discover the source code of the Software. Except as stated above, this License Agreement does not grant you any intellectual property rights to the Software.
4. No Warranty. The Software is being delivered to you AS IS and the Washington State Employment Security Department makes no warranty as to its use or performance. WASHINGTON STATE EMPLOYMENT SECURITY DEPARTMENT AND ITS SUPPLIERS DO NOT AND CANNOT WARRANT THE PERFORMANCE OR RESULTS YOU MAY OBTAIN BY USING THE SOFTWARE OR DOCUMENTATION. THE WASHINGTON STATE EMPLOYMENT SECURITY DEPARTMENT AND ITS SUPPLIERS MAKE NO WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, AS TO NONINFRINGEMENT OF THIRD PARTY RIGHTS, MERCHANTABILITY, OR FITNESS FOR ANY PARTICULAR PURPOSE. IN NO EVENT WILL THE WASHINGTON STATE EMPLOYMENT SECURITY DEPARTMENT OR ITS SUPPLIERS BE LIABLE TO YOU FOR ANY CONSEQUENTIAL, INCIDENTAL OR SPECIAL DAMAGES, INCLUDING ANY LOST PROFITS OR LOST SAVINGS, EVEN IF A REPRESENTATIVE OF THE WASHINGTON STATE EMPLOYMENT SECURITY DEPARTMENT HAS BEEN ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES, OR FOR ANY CLAIM BY ANY THIRD PARTY. Some states or jurisdictions do not allow the exclusion or limitation of incidental, consequential or special damages, or the exclusion of implied warranties or limitations on how long an implied warranty may last, so the above limitations may not apply to you.
5. Governing Law and General Provisions. This License Agreement will be governed by the laws of the State of Washington, U.S.A. This License Agreement will not be governed by the United Nations Convention on Contracts for the International Sale of Goods, the application of which is expressly excluded. If any part of this License Agreement is found void and unenforceable, it will not affect the validity of the balance of the License Agreement, which shall remain valid and enforceable according to its terms. You agree that the Software will not be shipped, transferred or exported into any country or used in any manner prohibited by the United States Export Administration Act or any other export laws, restrictions or regulations. This License Agreement shall automatically terminate upon failure by you to comply with its terms. This License Agreement may only be modified in writing signed by an authorized officer of the Washington State Employment Security Department.”

which I read and accepted, given that I had no choice and was losing patience at this point.

I was then presented with a series of boxes by the Kaspersky Internet Security software each of which included the word “denied” if I read accurately.

- There is now nothing on my screen that would allow me to proceed with your second step: key in the requested information

I hope you can understand my frustration with not being able to pay the taxes I know I owe and wish to pay but am not provided the opportunity to do so with an online tool.

This is only one of the four or five different State systems I am expected to deal with. Each system has a different login required with a different password which has different “strength” requirements and expires at different time intervals.

There seems to be some confusion at the State between “security” and complexity. I have paid these taxes online previously, but apparently the logins and passwords I used last year don’t work today. After significant further effort, I’ve changed passwords and found a site that I have previously used. I understand that I’m to do this quarterly, and maybe if I time it just right the passwords will only expire every other quarter. This seems draconian.

So, counter to your directions below, and after an hour and a half of trying to pay my taxes, I then selected “EAMS” on the site https://secureaccess.wa.gov/myAccess/saw/select.do where I was led to a site where I could select “
File UI quarterly report

”

This page required an Employment Security (ES) reference number, which I found on one of the many US mail deliveries I am expected to read, as well as the “Federal Identification Number (FEIN): “ which I am familiar with as “EIN” for IRS filings, and the Unified Business Identifier (UBI) number which I am also familiar with. I don’t understand why I should have to look up these numbers every time I log into your system to pay taxes for this business. Perhaps your web page offers to remember these for me, but if so it’s very obscure, relative to the bold and blank fields I must enter numbers into.

So this leads me to another page where the currently due and the overdue last quarter are presented with “Account data” and “Due xx/xx/xxx” are presented as links under the headings “2008” and “2009”. Not knowing what this means, I selected “Due 1/31/2010” This led me to a page listing details about my business and account and offering a “next” button, which then offered a page with the option to select “yes, I have payroll to report. It’s finally looking like I can at least pay the current quarter’s obligations! I get to then fill out a form with questions about corporate officers and stock options, which are all required fields. This looks familiar. It still doesn’t apply to my small company. I again enter zeros in all the fields. Only after entering something in answer to all these question am I allowed to select “next”, which I then do. Again I see a vaguely familiar page which requires that I select between “Import file”, “Copy data”, and “Hand-key”. I’m not importing or copying anything (though I’d love to copy what I entered last time) so I select “Hand-key” and am enabled to select “next” which I do.

I finally see a table where I can enter the wages I’ve paid during the quarter being reported. As you indicated, the system has the employee I paid previously, but I need to look up SSN and other data for that employee and enter it again, along with hours and wages for the quarter. Finally, AFTER TWO HOURS I AM PROVIDED WITH THE OPPORTUNITY TO ENTER DATA. I am not in a good mood. This form was only completed after selecting next and being presented with “Employee wage items are missing or invalid. Left uncorrected the employer may be charged an incomplete report penalty.” Apparently I didn’t enter the number of hours. I had to go back and enter the hours. No warning before entering “next”. The subsequent page I was presented was even more baffling to me: Total Excess Wages” “The total excess wages represent the amount calculated by the Employment Security Department based on year to date wages reported for this business.” Since I have no idea what this about I leave the box which contains zeros blank and select “Next” where I fill in three boxes with the number of employees I had in each month of the quarter. With only one employee, this was not difficult – only time consuming. Clicking “Next” presents a “Verify Tax Summary” page where the “UI tax due” of $44.89 is one of the line items to verify.
I’m also presented with the “Note: This report is for your records. DO NOT mail or fax paper copies of this report to the Employment Security Department”

Upon clicking “Next” I see:
THIS REPORT HAS NOT YET BEEN SUBMITTED
If after clicking the Submit report button you do not see a screen displaying a confirmation number, the Employment Security Department has not received your file.
Try again or contact Technical Support at 1-800-565-4660 or UIFTSupport@esd.wa.gov.

with an option to click “Submit report” which I then do and see an opportunity to print the confirmation and select “Next” which then presents a page containing: “The filing process has not been completed until both the quarterly report and payment have been received, DO NOT SKIP THIS STEP.” I again click “Next” and receive the option to “Pay taxes electronically” which I select to see a page with boxes filled with amount, date, and user reference. I select next and am presented with (I can hardly believe it) an option to use the same bank account I paid from previously! I simply accept that the business account I used last time is the same as that presented and select next. Indeed, the State does know a lot more about me and my business than previous forms and I only have to select “Submit payment” and am presented with a page showing the amount of $44.89, other data about my company and my bank account and the following: ” THIS PAYMENT WAS SUCCESSFULLY PROCESSED.”

I believe that there will be no more issues with the previous quarter report which has now been filed on time, and payment submitted. Now, to try to do the same for the last quarter, which is the same (as this quarter I just did as well as the previous quarter, except for total wages I paid my employee).

I click “Return to available services” and again select “file UI quarterly report”. I must again look up SSN and enter data for the same employee. After entering the data and answering the same questions about my company again, I’m presented with the page showing “UI tax due” of $45.32. It shows no penalties or interest, though I understand I’m three months late in filing and paying this $45.32. I moved through the following pages quickly till I saw “pending Payments: $45.89 and the bank account numbers again. I clicked “back” since I expected to see the amount of $45.32 or some reference to penalties if not this amount. I then found myself at the “Select Reporting Period” page again where I was presented with the only link in the row” 3rd quarter” to be under 2008 and labeled: “Account data”. The other cells in the matrix show “Processing” and “Not available” under 2009 and 2010, respectively. Clicking the only active link shows a 2008 report for which I know I have paid the required tax.

I’ve now spent well over two hours since watching the State of the Union address where the President promised to support small businesses. I believe I’ve paid my currently due taxes for your agency and have tried to pay the overdue taxes for the previous quarter without success. I now have to try to invest the same level of effort to pay taxes to at least two other State agencies and the Federal Government. It’s hard for me to believe that my government supports small business.

Please let me know what I still need to do to become current in my reporting, my tax payments, and to avoid the State having to issue a subpoena as you suggested on your phone message yesterday.

-- Alan

Members only

Self portrait in Trastevere

Preventive Mainrtenance

I think the universe is sending me a message (see previous post). I've decided it's about maintenance of machines. Not machines in general, but a particular machine. The most important machine in my life. My body. I'm renewing my focus on its maintenance.

I ran again today for the first time in 19 days. That's the biggest gap in years. I always feel better and have more positive energy on days I run. And it's not just about the body. I check out the world I live in when I run.

Last time I ran, there were 14 white swans on the lake. Today I saw that the eagles are back, in their favorite tree. The beavers have been doing maintenance on their home and dam. The running is about checking into that larger world outside of me that's been here since before me, will be here when I'm gone and within which I'm a spec of dust.

Somehow I've been letting my work "obligations" get in the way of preparing my mind and body for the enjoyment of the work. I also overdid the alcohol, noticably, last week. Done with that for awhile.

I know I go through cycles where my willingness to listen to the messages I recieve are masked by something in my own consciousness -- stubbornness, pride, ego, whatever it is. When that inability or unwillingness to listen become too great, the messages get louder, until I once again pay attention. I think my hearing is getting better in general, but I just had to stop and listen this week.

I realized (again) today that I need to be more careful with this, my favorite machine. I will get old one day -- if I listen to the signs and give it the care it needs.

Attending to Karma

Alice says I need to work on my Karma. I don't know exactly where I've gone wrong. I've been thinking that I'm listening to my Tango partners better in the dance lately. All the comments I get are positive (well, except Monday).

I think I'm attending to the things in life that matter. Maybe the garden needs more attention. I know there is springtime work to be done and I'm a bit behind. But with snow still coming down, it seems easy to put off.

I'm being really good at work. I'm working hard. I'm nice to everyone. I'm respectful, thoughtful. Well the random acts of kindness could be boosted a bit I guess.

I haven't spent time in the garage making anything. I did get the saw motor rewound some months ago and have only used it once since -- to make the overdue shelves in the laundry room. So maybe that's it. Maybe I just need to spend time tinkering.

Something is definitely going on. I have to acknowledge it as being unusual. I will continue to deal with these things calmly, as they occur. I just have to write down what's been happening.

In the last few weeks. . .

• The truck quit running. Fortunately there are still some folks around who work on carburetors. And this is the second time I've had the Holly 4 barrel rebuilt in it's 38 year life.
• The old laptop with the music on it quit playing sound. I think it's hardware, I've quit trying to fix it.
• A dishwasher has died -- I had it replaced while I was out of town by a company that does such things.
• The car is leaking water -- after having a new radiator installed less than a year ago. We add water (and sometimes antifreeze) occasionally. Still need to take it to the shop. I don't fix cars much any more.
• Two washing machines have died. I bought new ones and and installed them.
• A water heater started leaking and I replaced it.
• The furnace quit working. I replaced the igniter.
• The hard drive with all my photos failed. I haven't yet tried to see if anything is recoverable
• Now the power steering pump on the car is growling. Ok. I'll take it to the shop again.

Chris says sacrificing a chicken might be the answer. At least we'd have chicken for dinner.

ps Now this is a bit strange. I come home for work with the intention of writing this stuff down. I have a bit of cheese. Talk about how was the day. Write it. Then read Elizabeth's blog and discover that the reason Chris suggested sacrificing a chicken was because E wrote the same blog entry.

I think careful navigation is in order in this life at this time.

Tango changed my brain

I became aware the other day that I am beginning to respond differently to the world in a way that I believe has been shaped by (or enabled by) my recent years of dancing Tango. I was standing at the elevator at work (a friendly, but somewhat impersonal place, with everyone quite focused on their own realm of the business). Someone whose name I could not remember came out of the elevator. Instead of just saying hi, or waiting for that embarrassing delay for the brain-table lookup. I just said hi Sally. I don't know where in my brain that name came from. I was surprised to hear myself say it. I was impressed that it came out right, not thought about, and unfiltered.

Because of the way my brain works, with facts, numbers, definitions, logic all fitting together well for me, I've rarely said things that just seemed right, without verifying and knowing I could back them up. Oh, there's always been some playfulness, tossing out random thoughts just to see where they land, but clearly presented with my tongue planted firmly in cheek, just in case.

This is about responding to the world instantaneously from somewhere totally honest and not rational. But with confidence that it's not irrational. I believe it is truly a new set of pathways in my brain. I'm sure many people have such pathways fully wired and serving them full time. It's just a new thing for me.

When I heard myself say hi Sally and realized that it had come from a different part of my brain, I recognized that part of my brain. It was that part of my brain that allows me to respond to music and partner in the realm of Tango. It may be a stretch, but I don't think so. It's something akin to the left-brain, right-brain distinction that is often made. I think I've had access to both sides, but one has always been held in check and filtered by the other.

In the pursuit of Tango I have been resistant to (or lazy about) the rational learning of vocabulary and development of structure, a sort of formality of training that is certainly necessary to growth and development as a lead. Instead, I have simply enjoyed the music, the connection, the pleasure of simply moving through space with a partner in response to the music. It is at once universal and unique to that time, that space, and that relationship. That pursuit seems pure to me.

I am beginning to enjoy Tango more because I'm able to give reign to that part of my brain that doesn't filter, rationalize, structure, justify the patterns of movement. I know there is significant discipline required to be good at it. I know there is a lot more training necessary to make both sides of the brain work together as well as development of muscle memory, and connections among all those things in order to achieve the higher levels of joy that I see possible in the dance. I'll get there.

But the point here is that this engagement of Tango is having an impact outside of Tango. It's not just saying hi Sally at the elevator. It could be simply stated as trusting my instincts. It's really more than that. It's Malcolm Gladwell's thinking without thinking as described in Blink. I've always believed in it. I'm now seeing it in my response to life. And I think it's because of Tango.

Tango has certainly changed my life. Sometime, I want to describe how my role as leader has changed in my work because of Tango. But that's better saved for a time when I don't have work to do (before going to this evening's milonga).

Having gone home, I’m now going home

4/1/08

Now I’m waiting in the Indianapolis airport for the flight (through Denver) for Seattle. I guess this is really going home. I’ve lived in the Northwest for more than half of my life.

So here’s a brief account of the memorial trip:

It was too late when we arrived to see many of Mother’s friends. But my cousins were all still there when I arrived. I was introduced to their kids and we swapped some stories of growing up together. I also got to talk with Mother’s brother, whom I hadn’t seen for 25 years. He and I have moved farther from the constraints of our Hoosier youth than any of my family, including my mother.

At the graveside ceremony today, Mother was remembered as “quite a Lady.”

I appreciated talking with our neighbor who is energetically planning her 100th birthday party July 5th.

Following the service, we all had barbeque sandwiches at my cousin’s house. She pulled out her family photo boxes and we all reminisced some more. My cousins are all salt of the earth. I got to spend some more time with my uncle and recognized that we have still more to talk about.

This brief time provided a place in my life for the grief, the pride, the disappointment, the unfinished conversations, the unmet expectations, the fond memories, all that history that leaves this world in a way when a person dies -- and leaves behind the strength of that person's life. My mother gave me a good start in life.

Following the family time, we drove to the Brown County woods for a look at the first house I designed and built. It’s changed, but the basic house and its relationship with the site continue to provide a rich structure for the personalization it’s owners have applied over the past several decades.

Now to move on with life with a big hole in it.

The last trip home

3/31/08


I’m sitting in the Denver airport, having missed the flight to Indianapolis because of “a light in the cockpit” requiring a return to the Seattle terminal. We were both sick over the weekend. It’s just as well we didn’t try to fly yesterday. But now I’ll miss most of the calling hours at the Funeral Home.

I’m sure Tom Wolfe’s definition of going home is more complex than mine, but I believe I am going home, at least for a day.

Quietly in her sleep

There was no recovery. Mother was moved to a nursing home this past week where she apparently gained some sense of awareness and was even fed some applesauce.

Last night her breathing became slowly quieter till it was no more.

I'm writing her obituary today. Maybe I'll post it.

Now What?

I've been home a couple of days now. Getting back into work is helpful, though my efficiency isn't very great. I'll be working this weeekend to get caught up. There was no way I could work while in Atlanta. It was certainly physically/structurally possible, but emotionally impossible. The distance makes it harder and easier. The latest report from my brother is that there's been no change beyond the same roller-coaster we've been on for over three weeks now. It's just wait.

Going home

5 March 2008

In the Atlanta airport waiting for the flight home, I’m reflecting on the time here. Mother had quite shallow breathing when I said goodbye last night. The roller coaster continues. I’ve done all I can. With my brother looking after the house, I’m looking after the finances – long distance. Together we will see that the bills are paid, at least in the short term. We’ve decided to leave her house just as it is for now. There’s still a chance she will move back there, even for a brief transitional stay.

It’s challenging time. There is confusion, with the uncertainty and potential changes. There is the inevitable reminder of our immortality. As I went through Mother’s files, looking for how to keep things going, get things changed, I had to reflect on the challenge my files would present my kids if they had to figure things out. Wow! It would be challenging. I’ll have to clean up with that in mind – someday.

Continuing the vigil

Visiting rehab facilities. Trying to figure out what next. Mother still only wakes up occasionally, and doesn’t recognize anyone. Yesterday she was very clear in repeatedly pointing to her mouth that she wanted something. Probably hungry maybe dry mouth. The feeding through the PEG port was just getting going. She hadn’t had anything in her stomach for 24 hours, so that’s a likely response. It took quite some time to get the mouth cleansing and moisturizing to happen. That seemed to satisfy her.

The most challenging thing is not knowing how the recovery will go. At what point do we need to see progress to know the brain is re-connecting itself? Yesterday it was as though she woke up for a few minutes, looked at me with uncertainty for awhile, then went back to sleep to work on assembling the puzzle in private. She always liked puzzles.

There’s the quality of life issue that my brother and I are struggling with. We just talked with the weekend neurologist. It’s just wait. Another EEG tomorrow to see if there is any sign of seizure, which would be treated. So far, no such indication.

It’s time to do my laundry.

Sitting in hospital rooms

Mother is about to move to her third room since I got here two days ago. She is mostly sleeping, and has been since a significant stroke two weeks ago. One minute she was going about her business, still re-organizing the house after losing her husband a few months ago. Two days later she was not responding to anyone. I was getting reports from my brother, who was spending virtually every waking moment in her hospital room, occasionally switching off with his wife, while the two of them talked to the parade of doctors, who each had a different story to tell. I couldn’t tell if she was recovering or dying. I made the trip across the country, and I still can’t tell.

The large cast of specialists can’t really say what is going on, or what the prognosis is. One has a very strong view that she has encephalitis, another says a stroke. One tells us she is dying and to engage hospice. Another gives her a 37% chance of a full, or nearly full recovery. Meanwhile, we signed the order to avoid extreme measures to keep her alive. This means, in this Georgia hospital, that they won’t insert a breathing tube into her lungs, and they won’t use shock or beat on her if her heart stops.

Along with all the specialists who rotate through her room, I’ve gotten to know her physician and her heart specialist, who have a longer relationship with her. Her physician actually made house calls when her husband was sick. This is The South. It has a history of graciousness and a strong set of rules about behavior. This overlay of social rules, despite its class-associated roots, does provide significant comfort through its structure. The South is friendly on the surface. And as my favorite Tanguera says, how you talk about it matters. I’m still glad I didn’t grow up here.

The situation seems more stable today. After two weeks of doctors not knowing what was going on with her, there is a bit more clarity to the course of treatment. In fact, it’s still pretty much the same as it has been: whether or not the cause of the fever is known, the treatment is antibiotics – two varieties now. She had a port into her stomach installed today (a PEG). So she will no longer suffer the tube into her stomach through her nose for nutrients. She will be back on her familiar dose of cumidin blood thinner, and off the heparin, which has been questioned by FDA for its uncertain raw materials sourcing. Her heart specialist says that area is working as it has been since the pacemaker was installed several years ago. The lung guys (a different one every day) say there’s nothing to worry about there.

So it seems to be just this brain thing. And nobody knows. While I’ve seen her awake for brief periods, and the neurologist always gets her to wake up by pinching her, she can’t communicate much. She can nod and shake her head appropriately to questions, though she hasn’t done so for me. I did have a brief time alone with her yesterday when she squeezed my hand and looked at me as though she knew who I was. She’s still sedated from the PEG procedure this morning, which happened before I got here. So I’m still looking forward to the next opportunity to communicate.

The neurologist presents the most optimistic scenario. Brain injuries can go like this: nothing for some time, then slow recovery. The statistics for recovery offer reasonable hope. I’m going with that for now.

More Random

As usual, I have too many projects going. Let's see, there's the day job, which is picking up a bit after a lull -- and needs my attention before a deadline tomorrow. There's the Greenwood Townhouse project, which could be our home someday, and is moving along slowly in the design phase. I've migrated the design tools (mostly AutoCad) to an instance of XP in a virtual PC on my main Vista machine. I'm continuing to maintain the 4 or 5 PCs in the house, with the laptop at the "stereo" cabinet in the family room, where we dance, and the PC that quit behaving after last month's Microsoft Tuesday Patch Day. There's the 1459 pieces of Tango music that is continually updated and the occasional tanda playlist to build. There's the Circe Snow clothing line to get moving. There's the support for blog entries for family (how do I scan this? Where that photo). There's taxes and business records to attend to. Oh, yes, 1099s to file. I think those were supposed to be in by Jan 30. oops. There's a financial management job I took on without realizing where the balance between research and family politics really lies. There's the really major project of selecting the right wines for the wedding in June. The hot tub has been sitting unused for nearly a year now, with us in desperate need of a soak, and my repair still pending. The access to the loft in the studio is still non-existant, waiting for me to replace the dangerous stepladder. I really want to finish the controls on the hydronic heating system in the studio. It's still being controlled based on only room temp. This causes significant swings in temperature of the wood floor. I have most of the pieces in place to control room temp with more constant floor temp, using a predictive algorithm, recognizing the time constant of the building, using outdoor temp and solar gain as influences. I just need to implement. My "life style changes" include running every day. More time away from projects, but better focus when working. And then there's Tango. It's hard to call Tango a project. But it is a major focus of my energy. It's not just the dancing. It's . . . I don't know what to call it. Anyway, did I say too many projects? I wouldn't have it any other way.

The purpose of this post is mostly to work out how to embed video. This only uses Windows Media Player. It seemed the easy place to start. It seems to use way too much bandwidth for the quality that results. I'll work on a more general solution that is more efficient some other time.

This is from Yira Yira on 14 November, 2007




Ah, the culture of music and dance. Today it seems so remote from my daily routine. I don't know why. It doesn't have to be.

Shrimps on the Barbie

It was wild at our house this weekend. Well, by comparison to our usually quiet domicile. Tango music is different from kids running around yelling. We really needed that infusion of kid energy. It was good to see everyone.

Michael posted his photos on Flicker

I posted photos and a video on my site

Here's one, clipped from a video.

About the technology:

I can't seem to quit fooling around with video and photos. And with the tools for managing them. Windows Movie Maker ships with Windows and JAlbum is freeware. These are both very simple to use. Even though I'm curious about how things work and what's available, when it's time to create or post something, I want it simple and I want to be in control. And I don't want to spend too much time figuring out how to do it. Cutting clips from videos for posting was a new thing for me this time. This business of photo quality is no longer about how to get the wet film quality out of a digital camera. We still want the 4x6 prints, and use the canon picturemate for that (even though, at 30 cents each, they cost twice as much as costco prints from uploaded digital photos). What I'm finding is that we just want a print now and then. So getting them right away (well the printer seems slow, but that's just because the other printers are so fast) let's us just choose what we want more carefully before printing. No more sending a batch off for printing.

Anyway, with quality being less important that having content available online, there's a new way of thinking about it. With you tube postings of everything tango, and Elizabeth finding these gems, the quality of the image is much less important than just being able to see, say D'Arienzo performing in a 1937 movie, or what milongas look like in Buenos Aires this year. Or a glimpse at one trip to BsAs. Simply getting vacation pictures posted matters more than the megapixels.

I'm still curious about this 3-screen convergence. I'm gaining understanding about how it is happening, what it is, something of where it's going. And I like being a part of it. Last night's realization was that the small screen of the cell phone and the large screen of the TV (whether from the consumer electronics broadcast/cable direction or IPTV) have the same requirements for User Interface. How we interact with the two devices should be the same. The TV remote is disconnected from the screen, unlike the cell phone, but the information that can be presented on the screen, and the means of selecting it are the same. Touch screens on the cell will slowly emerge, with iPhone pushing, but the basic paradyme is the same. It's very different from the computer screen, where you have lots of pixels and sit 19 inches away from it with a mouse as a pointer. The interaction models are typically migrating from the computer to the other two screens, but the user experience must be different because of the limitation on the amount of information that can be presented and the means of navagating. blah blah blah It's time for me to go to work making it happen instead of just talking about it.

Time for a trip to Argentina

Leaving soon...

note, following return: Elizabeth's blog documents this trip better than I could.

Just keeping it going

Just a quick break from working to keep my place here. I believe that if I don't make an entry occassionally, it will all disappear.

Alan and John

Ava's tree